De-Escalation

Every gathering I attended teaches me a new lesson. This summer's gathering in Georgia taught me about the importance of de-escalation even though I did not attend.

Now I'm not saying that de-escalation solves all problems and prevents violence. It is a tool in dealing with other humans on this amazing planet.

Remember we cannot control what other people do, we cannot always control wildfires, floods, or earthquakes, but we can work on our selves and manage our reactions to events external to our individual human body.  So how do we de-escalate a stressful situation and reduce the potential for human violence?

Keeping in mind that every situation is different and every human is different, the first step is to feel what is going on. Feeling includes reading body language, trying to understand words, tone of voice, etc.   Trying to understand as best you can what triggered the situation before you involve yourself is always important although sometimes life doesn't allow you this luxury.

I often start with the words I hear caring parents tell their upset children.  "Please use your words to tell me."  Asking the upset person to put into words what they are feeling about the situation and/or you doing the same by using the personal pronoun is one way to de escalate an argument. Saying "I feel uncomfortable when you do xxxx" rather than "You make me feel xxx."  After all, as grownups, we should learn to own our own emotions.

Avoid defensive behavior. Of course, when someone attacks you verbally or physically, our instinctual response is to fight back. But there are other options. 

When dealing with physical attacks, sometimes you can retreat or step aside. Sometimes you can use the least force necessary to buy time to open up a dialog. This means not letting your emotions control the force you use, but letting your calm rational brain do so. No need to try to kill someone. Sometimes, just restraining a person in as gentle of a manner as is humanly possible for a bit can allow everyone to cool off.

When dealing with verbal attacks, responding with phrases such as "If I understand correctly, your concern is that XXXX"  or "I hear the pain and hurt you are experiencing." Acknowledging the pain and struggles of other people and responding emphatically with love and compassion, is one way a crises can sometimes be de-escalated. Asking another human being questions about their situation when done with care can completely change the vibe. After all, anger and sorrow can often be two sides of the same coin.

When someone is upset, it gets hard for them to rationally listen to the words you say, but your tone of voice, your body language, your relaxed body posture and breathing can help others relax. I have had great success with oming and have seen people who were really upset, catch themselves after a few minutes of oming.  Oming helps us to deepen our breath, many people believe the om encompasses all human language, and many consider it to be a sacred sound. When problems arise, calling on the divine is always appropriate. Singing or playing calming gentle music is often a great option.  Trying to get everyone's breathing to s l o w  d o w n, often helps our rational mind jump back into the picture.

When we get upset our primal brain and sympathetic nervous system jump into action creating a flight or flight response. This is a fantastic part of our brain. It allows mothers to lift automobiles off small children, helps people outrun danger, and gives us the mental ability to respond in an emergency situation without fear. But this same "reaction" can cause an already bad situation to slide downhill quickly.  However, if we can acknowledge the fear or anger that is driving someone's fight or flight response, perhaps we can create a loving space that will allow that person to process their emotions, what ever they are. After all, no emotion is wrong or bad. We all feel what we feel. However, how we respond to feelings makes all the difference in the world.

Allow silence. Don't feel you have to talk all the time. Sometimes, just being silent and breathing gives everyone the opportunity to calm down.

Sometimes, being a calm and grounded witness helps other people calm  down. When someone is in a whirlwind of emotions, the grounded energy that others can provide may rub off.

Sometimes, all you can do is leave the situation to protect yourself or because you are being reactive. That's OK to. Much better to walk out on an argument than let it escalate until someone gets hurt.  Its OK to step away from an argument.

March To Demand Release of Rainbow Gatherers from Local Jail on SUNDAY, JULY 8

Updated July 7 at  4:00 p.m. eastern time

Hi all,

This seems to be coming from one of the locals in Dahlonega, Georgia. It's a march taking place on SUNDAY, JULY 8 at 2:30 p.m. in Dahlonega, Georgia.  Please, please, please, gather up all the experienced shanti sena verbers you can find and make sure they show up. I will update this post once I get the details.  I was told this will be a "permitted" march.

**********Begin Forwarded Message******************

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD Y’ALL! A peaceful march is being organized to advocate for the release of Rainbow Family members who are still being detained.

The march will take place Sunday, July 8 @ 2:30 pm. in Dahlonega.

Lumpkin County Sheriff Department

E Main St 385, Dahlonega, Georgia 30533

March Route (Click to enlarge)

Map and important regulations will be uploaded soon.
IMPORTANT PICKETING REGULATIONS
1: Picketing may be conducted on the public sidewalk only and cannot be conducted on public roads or streets
2: Picketers cannot be in the medians or within 200 feet of any buildings
3: Picketers shall not disrupt, block, or interfere with any pedestrian/vehicular traffic or access to any buildings
4: Picketing signs or banners cannot exceed three square feet
5: Picketing staffs or poles that a banner is secured to must me made of corrugated material, plastic, or wood (no metal) and can’t exceed 40 inches in length. They must also be less than 3/4 inch in diameter and must be blunt on both ends
6: ABSOLUTELY NO curse words or profanity on signs.
7: Spectators shall not physically interfere with individuals who are picketing
8: Picketers shall not speak fighting words or threat that would provoke a reasonable person to breach the peace
9: Picketers are subject to all applicable local state and federal laws
10: Nothing prohibits a law enforcement officer from issuing a command to disperse in the event of a riot or disorderly conduct.

Local residents are outraged about the treatment of our brothers and sisters. Everything from illegal search and seizure, unauthorized detainment, restriction of access to public property, failure to provide due process, stripping of human and civil rights, and even CAVITY (vaginal) searches on some of our sisters. IT WILL ALL BE EXPOSED! Please send any and all video and photographic evidence to this email address.

Loving you!!!!!

According to the event organizers:

The latest updated report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture shows over 900 citations and arrests made at the federal level, for minor and questionable offenses.

Karin's 2 Cents on Sexual Assault at the Gathering

Disclaimer

Many kind siblings have shared knowledge with me over many years and I have been included in or guided my own share of movies addressing the aftermath of sexual assault.

I am not the master of this by any means, but want to take the time to share with you what I have learned over the years either by my own experiences or by others sharing their experiences with me and others.

The big picture

First off, every situation is unique. Each individual involved in a situation is a unique being on this planet. In a true loving, caring, and creative community, I do not believe in a one size fits all approach to dealing with sexual assault.  Some of the most beautiful moments I have experienced at a gathering have been when we came together as a community to address issues of sexual assault.

Just to be clear, what I mean by sexual assault is non-consensual sexual activity or sexual activity with children.  Just to be clear on my perspective, I don't automatically believe sex with a minor in the 15-17 age bracket is sexual assault. Specificity counts with me.  The perspective of the 15-17 year old counts with me.

So this leads into two important terms.  "Victim" and "accused" or "suspect."  A victim is anyone who feels they have been sexually assaulted.  The voice of the victim should be in the center of anything that happens next. The wishes of the victim (short of inciting violence) should be at the center of anything that happens next.

The  "accused" or "suspect" is just that. The suspect has been accused by the victim of a sexual assault. Please keep in mind that just because someone is accused, does not make them guilty. Keep in mind that some situations are muddled and some people are muddled. Keep in mind that people at the gathering do mind altering substances that complicate people's perceptions, emotions, and actions. Keep in mind that this is tough stuff to deal with but the more we address it the better we all get at it.

However, we can't forget about the "Community."  The gathering is a community and when ever someone feels they have been sexually assaulted, the community suffers as well.

Please note I use the phrase "feels they have been sexually assaulted" not to dismisses the incident as unreal, but to honor the feelings of the victim.


When Sexual Assault Happens

If you feel you have been sexually assaulted, I strongly encourage you to seek assistance but I understand that you have the right to handle the situation in the way that works best for you (short of inciting violence).   My personal recommendations are that you confide in a close friend, talk to a trusted gatherer, and/or visit CALM, INFO, or one of the many camps with strong, peaceful and experienced family.  If you are new to the gathering, CALM and INFO are safe spaces with experienced gatherers who can support you.  If you are in immediate danger, please yell SHANTI SENA as loud as you can and family will be there to help you.


If someone you knows feels that they have been sexually assaulted, please lend an ear and ask them what kind of support you can provide. Ask the person if they are physically injured, have a safe place to stay, get them medical care if it is needed and wanted, and/or talk to someone else about the situation while maintaining everyone's privacy.  Anytime an accusation of sexual assault it made, the community needs to address it at some level.

So what next?

As with most gathering related issues, calling a circle is always a good option. Including a wide range of gatherers in the circle is always important. When we put our hearts together, the path forward will unfold our collective wisdom. This doesn't mean you need a circle in Main Meadow open to every gatherer.  Sometimes counciling in a remote calm space helps everyone listen from their hearts. In fact, many of these councils I have attended have been in somewhat private areas to help everyone feel safe.

Who participates?

In my opinion, both victim and suspect need to be included in a circle if they are willing. This doesn't have to mean the same circle although it can. There can be one circle for the victim and one for the suspect. Sometimes these circles are five or six people, sometimes they are twenty-five people. However, we always want to maintain the victim's privacy if the victim wants it maintained.

Having circles is important even if the victim and the suspect have no interest in participating.  When someone is sexually assaulted at the gathering, each and every one of us have been violated on some level and we need to address the situation. We address things by circling together and listening from our hearts. Circling can help us all increase our awareness, learn new strategies to prevent sexual assault in our community, and create the culture of caring which so many of us believe in deeply.

What happens in the circle?

No two situations are the same. No two circles are the same. I have experienced victim's tears, my own tear's, anger, lynch mob mentality (we are better than violence), people cross-examining victims / suspects / other gatherers. I've seen an accused wave a knife in people's faces. I've prayed with indigenous grandmothers. I've seen fights break out and get shut down quickly. I've experienced an emotional roller coaster and felt calm and focused.  I've experienced many people not wanting to press charges, but the circle asking the accused to leave the gathering and not return until they have learned the walk of peace and love. I've turned the accused over to the sheriff and cried about the lack of perfect justice in the world.

I've seen sister only and brother only circles when the assault took place between a sister and a brother. I've seen multi-gendered circles address the situation.

When we can circle with vulnerability and love, the universe generally reveals a path forward. Now I'm not saying the path forward is perfect, but finding a peaceful path forward for the victim, the accused, and the community is where the healing begins. I do not believe that using violence to address violence creates peace in this world.

No matter what else is happening, we respect the wishes of the victim (short of inciting violence) and protect the suspect from those whose journey on the peace way is a bit shaky.  Just to repeat: we protect the suspect from harm.

Keep in mind that just because you think you know who the accused is, doesn't mean you won't mix up that person with another random gatherer.  How many of you were in Wyoming in 2008? I walked a mother around the gathering for three days looking for her son. Many gatherers swore they had seen him last night, at the shitter, at dinner circle, etc.  Unbeknownst to anyone, he had been dead for at least a week before people "met him."

Violence never makes the less conscious more conscious. 

What about legal action?

Anytime someone is a victim of any crime at a gathering, they have the right to press charges against the suspect.   If the victim wants to press charges, we (meaning the gatherers on the land excluding Forest Service Personnel) need to call the local Sheriff and ask for the sheriff or the deputy to come take a statement.  If we have identified the suspect, we peacefully escort the suspect to the sheriff and/or deputies.  We should NEVER hit, harm, take property or be hateful to a suspect.  Be the love you want to see in this world. It's easy to love people who are kind. It's hard to love those who are less kind. Hating people does not increase the level of love in the world.  Hating people does not make the situation any better.  Hate does not erase what happened.

Other options

Sometimes we have a person who refuses to leave the gathering when asked by many people.

One good option is for peaceful people to supervise that person's every move. Following them around while keeping a respectful distance is important. Sitting outside the person's tent at night is important. With a 24-hour peaceful escort, many people decide they want to leave the gathering.

Giving someone green energy to help them get down the road can help.  Gas money or a ride to the nearest Greyhound station is one way to encourage someone to leave.

Healing circles with the accused can sometimes help someone learn new behavior if they are done in a respectful fashion with positive intentions and if the accused is open to learning from their mistakes. Many people come home attracted by new ideas and are willing to grow and learn and change their paradigm. We all can use some paradigm shifting.

Preventative Actions

I'm a firm believer that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In my blog post on Shanti Sena Basics I cover a lot of pro-active steps every gatherer can take to increase the peace and safety of each and every one of us. But the single most important part of creating gatherings where sexual assault does not  happen is to build our communities, connect with each other, and be our siblings' keepers.

Peace is a journey, not a destination

Music as Magical Peacekeeping Tool

The Earth Is Our Mother

For family who are more musically included, we have a long tradition of chants and songs not for performance, but for participation. Many of these songs are call and response or chant type songs. We use these songs to create community, help people be more peaceful and create the energy we wish to see in this world.

If you do not already know some of the rainbow songs, there are on-line websites that have the information.  If you play an instrument or even if you do not, try to learn these songs.  Then when you are at a gathering, I'm sure you will find a moment that is calling out for family singing and you will be prepared.

Thanks to family who have taken the time to make this information freely available.
 
Bliss Fire Website
Welcome Home Website

Singing is one of the best tactics to improve the vibration of the gathering. I've even seen people sing to break up hostile situations, calm the anxious, and create community among random strangers. Be the magic!

On Feeling and/or Being Safe

On social media there have been a lot of great discussions about being safe at a gathering and I wanted to take the time to summarize my thoughts on this critical topic.

On feeling safe

First off, I would like to point out that there can be a huge difference between being safe and feeling safe.  For example, I live near an urban creek in San Diego and am part of a collective caring for the creek. Some people sleep and/or live in portions of the creek. In the fourteen + years I have been involved with the creek, I have met men in their forties who are afraid of the energy along the creek and do not feel safe going there. While I have also met plenty of little old ladies who love walking their dogs along the creek and feel it is the best part of our neighborhood. None of  their feelings are right or wrong, they are just feelings.

But what do the statistics tell us?  Less crimes happen at the creek than at the beach. Yet many people feel safe at the beach.

What is going on? Each of us are unique individuals with our own temperament, life experiences, emotional modes of being, and perspectives. No person's feelings are wrong. The emotions we experience are the emotions we experience. No judgements. 

How then do we address individual feelings about safety or the lack there of?  One way is to listen seriously to people when they feel unsafe rather than dismiss their feelings because our own feelings are different.

One way is to make friends with those in our circles who feel unsafe and include them in our communities. Often times people do not feel safe at a gathering is because our cultural norms can be different than the culture in which they have been living.

Many people feel safer when their fears and concerns are truly heard without offering shouldas wouldas couldas. Many people feel safer when they are with friends and loved ones.

One way to help others feel safer is to adjust our behavior and our words to support others. Sure we all have ways of being with our close friends that express our love and caring, but those ways of being in one group of people may invoke fear or anger in another group of people. Be conscious of how your words and actions impact others.

When we gather, we are a gathering of different clans, individuals, and communities.  Using our body and verbal language in a way that helps others feel safe, increases the love and builds connections between more of us. And isn't connecting with all these beautiful bellies one of the reasons we gather?

The other side of this topic is being safe.

Keeping people safe requires all our eyes to be paying attention.

If any of us sees a toddler at the creek without supervision, that's the time to take action and prevent a tragedy. You already know what to do.

If any of us sees a tripping hippie alone in the woods, be a buddy and make friends with this person or at the very least wander after them. Depending on where the gathering is, tripping hippies can get lost in the woods on a cold night and potentially experience hypothermia or worse. Tripping hippies have in the past drowned, injured themselves, and been victims of other people.

If you see someone who is lost, help them get where they are going. If someone is hungry, help them get fed. If someone is thirsty, help them get hydrated. Take the time to welcome people you do not know. Introduce yourself, find common ground, and increase everyone's safety by making new friends, sharing your heart, and building a web of community. Many small acts of kindness create a culture of community and the community we create is what keeps us safe.

If you feel someone is invading your space and your efforts to stop it are not working, go into any  one of the many camps and kitchens and ask a person you feel comfortable with to help you with the situation.  Your words are stronger when your community has your back. We want to have your back, but we need you to let us know when you need our help.

Pay attention to people who are feeling uncomfortable with a situation and ask if there is any help you can provide. Or if you see a conversation happening that seems to be making someone uncomfortable, join the conversation and introduce yourself.  Then be silent and see what's going on. Sometimes, your presence will change the dynamics and make everyone feel safer or potentially even be safer.

As to the individuals, who victimize others intentionally or through a lack of consciousness, I believe you may be dealing with issues in your life that have gotten you to a point where you have lost compassion and empathy. Let us help you with your pain in a constructive manner. Let us help you learn how to be a kind, caring individual who treats every being as the love of your life and for whom you want all good things. We are willing to help, but you must be willing to learn and grow as a human becoming as we travel this journey we call the rainbow gathering.

To learn more about Shanti Sena, read this.

We are our siblings' keepers.

Explicit Consent: putting being an ally before attraction

Today's guest post was written by The Professor. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * *

Going to the gatherings I am always excited at the prospect of interacting and networking with other humans.

The level of attention that most people give you is one of the aspects that really distinguish it from most of the rest of my life, whenever I am where I am not already surrounded by friends or family. Strangers taking time to actually make eye contact and smile, generally prepared to do some conversing.

Generally I feel that there is a high level of respect, but there are camps and individuals who don't seem to hold all the tenets of consent as dearly as my peers do. Some people come to pray for peace and others really just want to party.

Last year we decided to have a consent circle. We had another that got relabeled "How to have great sex, and talk about it" in an effort by some to lure in "creepers", the big irony was the name change was not done by consensus.

At vision counsel the topic of consent and creating a better culture came up and these were some things we could agree on:

• We practice peace. 
• Education about consent allows us to better respect others' boundaries and to seek nonviolence in all actions.
• We in this circle reaffirm our vigilant loving commitment in ourselves to a gentle and conscious approach to our personal interactions, our circles, and our choices.
• In consideration for the health and well-being of all who gather, we, as peacekeepers, lovingly and kindly urge respect, discernment, and discretion, in ourselves and others, especially with regard to the use of sacramental and or mind-altering substances.

Spend much time at the gathering and you will notice the disparity of male to female bodied people. With so few females it can feel like if you don't jump on the first one that smiles at you, you might go without. This is a reason it serves to be extra sensitive in acting on any attraction without explicit consent. Some people love hugs and touching but others really value their personal space and the power to chose both when and how they are touched.

This is so important in conjunction with the freeze response: some people don't go into flight or fight more but instead just don't react. In such cases a person might not even be able to tell you to stop the behavior that is triggering them.

I find myself to be a hopeless romantic and fall in love with the admirable qualities of individuals on a regular basis, I also place high value on touch and find great joy in massage and cuddling. So I understand the urge to want to say the beautiful poetry that a muse has inspired, but it is important to consider what you want out of the reception.

The part of rejection that I fear is imposing on another person. To get a no is just a useful data point, that lets me know that person isn't interested in me or some certain subset of activities with me.

Even with all my emphasis on explicit enthusiastic consent, I as a 6 ft 160 lb male bodied person have been pressured into going further then I wanted.

Thanks to my privilege I have always been able to physically leave, slow down, compromise, or talk my way out of it. Sometimes though I let my affection and desire to not hurt someone's emotions convince me to go further then I would.

Mostly creating a better culture of consent is important for everyone everywhere, but at rainbow I think we have a chance to really make some rapid advancements.

On the basic level consent is important just so the sensitive and gentle people will be asked for hugs rather then hope they don't freeze and can't even ask you to stop.

More specific to courtship, the more open the conversation and the more observant to your partners' desires, the better the experience.

I like to think of touching and really all interacting with another is a game: a kind of logic puzzle where the goal is to make the other person feel as good as possible and the rule is to only do what they would want you to do, and the best method is asking and observing.

An Open Letter to My Family

The gathering is a wonderful magical time full of lots of sweat, usually some tears and a great opportunity to grow as a human being.  If you're in your late teens or twenties, you probably know that the world is full of individuals who want to get to know you in an intimate way.   I like to believe that most of our family are the kindest, most compassionate, most loving people and that despite their interest in getting to you know will respect any boundaries you place on any interaction.

I write this post from the perspective of a hetro-woman who remembers what it was like to be young and glomped on where ever I showed up. I remember the vulnerability I felt as a young woman, not wanting to offend people, but getting tired of hetro-men wanting to know me in ways that made me uncomfortable. I had a hard time trying to strike a balance between being friendly and maintaining my own boundaries. Young hetro-men had an intense energy that felt overwhelming to me.

This brings us to today's vocabulary lesson, the word "no."  No is a powerful word.  When you were two years old (give or take) you excelled at saying no.  So what happens as we grow?  

Seems to me we live in a culture STILL (as I thought we'd be more evolved by now, but so it goes) that places different expectations on how young women handle their sex lives and how young men do. Sometimes, women are taught that no means you are protesting but you are willing to change your mind if persuaded.  Well I think this approach sucks.  And speaking from personal experience, a lot of men can't tell the difference between a no that means stop right now and a no that means I'm open to persuasion. So to all my young sisters, let's give the brothers some clear communication.

Say YES when you mean yes and NO when you mean no.  Feel free to say yes to a hug and no to a kiss.  Feel free to say yes to making out, but no to anything further.  Feel free to get naked and say yes to one thing and no to another.  Feel free to say yes and then change your mind and say no if it doesn't feel right for you.  This is your life and you have the right to be 100% comfortable with what how you share or do not share your body with anyone.
 
Unfortunately, while most of our hetro-brothers are kind, loving, respectful humans, at every gathering, there are people who have come home because they need to learn how to be kind, loving, respectful humans and who may make some mistakes on their road to healing. Any time we gather ten thousand people in one place, the odds are very high that one or two people show up just to prey on kind, loving people.

Some thoughts as you figure out how you want to navigate life:

• Use the words yes and no to mean their surface meaning.
• If you say no and some belly does not respect your no, yell Shanti Sena and family will show up to support you.
• If you use mind altering substances of any kind, do so with your friends (old or new).  Hang out at one of the larger kitchens where music and companionship will be plentiful and respect and love will be in abundance. Or use the buddy system and wander the gathering all night long with your friends.
• Plug into sister circle (space) to share with other sisters in a supportive environment what's going on and how you're dealing or not dealing with life's challenges.
• If you have any problems at all, go to CALM/First Aid, INFO, or Kid Village and tell a sister that you have an issue you need to discuss.
• Go to the Antique Roadshow at the ovens and talk to all the wise older sisters in this family - they are an amazing awe-inspiring bunch.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."  ~~ Helen Keller

As with most gathering related issues, there's a rap for that:

~~ RAP 121 ~~

Brothers:
Respect our sisters and help create a safe place for everyone.
Nudity is natural; not a sexual invitation.
Ask before hugging or touching women & remember: “No means No!”
Brother Circles offer support & encourage understanding.
Love happens – Carry condoms.

Sisters:
Respect yourselves & trust your instincts.
If you don’t feel comfortable being intimate or alone with a man it’s OK to say “No.”
Sister Circles share strength & support between women.
Love happens – Carry condoms.

Everyone:
This is a society based on love & respect.
We’re here for a spiritual purpose; Respect each other and do no harm.
Brother-Sister Circles create trust & understanding.

We are all Shanti Sena – “Peace Keepers”

Shanti Sena Basics

Some would say the phrase “Shanti Sena” means “peace army” from Sanskrit and has its roots in Gandhi’s concept of non-violent volunteer based peace keepers. While in gathering lore, some would translate the phrase as peace scene.  No matter the logical translation you wish to put on it, I translate it as being part of a family and looking out for my family in peaceful ways.

In the years of the strife between gatherers and the United States Forest Service Law Enforcement Officers (USFS LEOs), the phrase came to spell trouble for the LEOs and by 2008/2009 many gatherers actually thought the cops were the Shanti Sena (so not true). Because of the many misconceptions floating around, I thought I would take the time to rap about my perspective on keeping the peace at a gathering.

As many of my friends point out, “Shanti Sena” is a verb not a noun. In other words, no one “is” Shanti Sena, but many people “do” Shanti Sena. Most functions at the gathering are verb rather than noun based.

In a culture where individual liberty and communal needs often clash, countless opportunities arise to “do” Shanti Sena and keep the peace.

Before we worry about keeping the peace, we need to define “peace.”  For different people, “peace” takes on different connotations. For some, acting peacefully precludes any acts of physical violence, but yelling is considered peaceful. For others, cussing is not peaceful. For every one hundred gatherers, there are probably ninety different perspectives on what “peace” means. When we gather, I believe that 99.999% of gatherers have every intention of creating peace. We’ll get back to the 0.001% later.  So how then do we create and increase the peace at the gathering and take those skills into the world at large?

In my perspective, the single most important aspect to “doing” Shanti Sena is to be observant. Sure there are big movies that happen and lots of gray haired folks get involved with radios, but most of the time when a big movie happens, the root cause was a failure of each and every one of us to pay attention to the hurt, suffering, pain and/or stress building up around us.  (As an aside, not everyone with a radio has a clue.)

Reality check!  Going to a gathering, especially for the first time, can be very stressful. It’s a crash course in a brand new culture. Access to food and filtered drinking water can be hazardous. Being unprepared for the conditions can leave people cold and wet or sitting up by a fire all night to stay warm instead of sleeping. Many people who take medications for chronic conditions often seem to space out on taking their meds, leaving their health further compromised. Dehydration, low blood sugar, and lack of sleep are just a few of the stressors gatherers experience -- add to that doing activities or substances that are new to you. When one small thing goes wrong, people who are stressed out can explode.

Being observant means noticing that some belly is having a hard time or a bad day. Allowing each of us to be our own unique self means not telling other people what to do. Telling people to eat or drink can backfire. So what’s a kind loving brother or sister to do?

Pay attention to the people around you. Notice if they seem to be struggling, are confused or look disoriented. Offer to share your water or an energy bar you might have on you (always good to bring lots of these). Introduce yourself and make a friend. Usually people are more willing to share their troubles with a friend, than someone just trying to fix a problem. Share a song or a joke if the vibe feels right. Sometimes people are in their own head space and don’t want to interact. That’s OK.  You can still stay near them (but not too near) just in case they need help. If it’s two am, please don’t walk away from someone. If someone wants to wander the woods all night, grab a couple of friends and trail after them just in case they need your assistance.

If someone doesn’t have a safe place to sleep, try to hook them up with a camp that can help. If they have small children, Kid Village is a great place. But there are lots of other kind loving camps at the gathering that have the space to squeeze another body into a crowded tent or provide emotional support. If you yourself are new to the gathering (blessings to you for helping others), you can stop by INFO and ask for some advise.

If you find a lost kid, you and a couple of friends should escort the child to Kid Village. Make sure to take the child up to the kitchen and announce very loudly that you have a lost child. DO NOT JUST DROP THE CHILD OFF AT KID VILLAGE. 

If someone is having a health crisis and is willing, take her/him to CALM. Most of the larger kitchens/camps like Fat Kids, Montana Mud, Loven Ovens, and Kid Village (to name just a few) have medical people as well. If the person isn’t willing to move, find someone with a radio and medical people will come to your location. If that doesn’t work, send a runner to INFO or CALM with as much information as you have about the situation. By taking care of people’s critical needs before people reach the point of explosion, we create the peace we want to see in the world.

Other times we have conflicts that arise from differing lifestyles. For example in 2002, the gathering site was small and we ended up with Tea Time and Yoga Space next to each other. Talk about a mismatch in energies. Tea Time likes to stay up all night, serve tea and make raucous noise at 3 AM. The Yoga folks are more into silent mediation and mellow energy. Two distinct energies colliding is a classic gathering issue. If we want each camp to be free to express their own vision of peace and love, what to do?  When space permits, it’s always best to camp in an area that meets your vision of what comprises peace and love. So don’t be expecting to sleep in silence until noon every day if you’re camped in Kid Village as kids wake up early.  But ….

As to the 0.001%, when the situation gets a bit crazy, yell “Shanti Sena” and other people will come and assist. With a circle of people, we can try to get a council going where the parties’ involved and random calm and centered gatherers can sit down and listen to each other.  Keep in mind that sometimes people’s emotions are volatile and getting a council going is difficult at best. Then what?

SITTING down on the sidelines and oming tends to help ground energies. If nothing else, it makes misbehaving people feel a bit silly and often times that breaks up the situation. This doesn’t mean the root cause of the problem is solved, but at least it buys some time and space to work on the issues. I’ve experienced a beautiful voice singing an appropriate song calm everyone down as well. Peaceful, mellow music helps everyone feel better.

Sometimes problems don’t seem resolved at the time. That’s OK. Rainbow magic takes time to work. I’ve sat in circles with people who were full of anger. At some point the primary people stomped out of the circle and didn’t return.  Then a day or two or three later, I ran into those same people again, very happy and peaceful. Rainbow magic doesn’t always have a logical cause and effect.  Sometimes, just hanging out with someone for six hours prevents someone from getting lost in the woods (yes it really happens and if it’s cold out can be a cause of death), drowning in a lake (yes this has happened multiple times at gatherings) or wandering up to the road and getting arrested (you know this happens). Plus you’ve just made a new friend. The more we get to know each other, the more we create community. The more we actively work on creating community, the more we increase the peace.

If you are not able to help when the universe calls you, please, please, please, make sure someone else helps. Ask others for assistance, guide the person to one of the larger kitchens, go to INFO or CALM and let them know what’s going on. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Many years, we have Shanti Sena councils or workshops at the gathering where people who have “done” more Shanti Sena share the lessons they’ve learned with those who have “done” less or no Shanti Sena. As with everything gathering related, we are all of us teachers and all of us students. In the spirit of sharing other ideas on what Shanti Sena is and does, here are some other voices on the subject.


From Welcome Home with links to multiple Shanti Sena Raps by well respected family (must read).
From Niman - a scholarly look
From Medicine Socks
Rap 121
My Rap from 2008

Ask not what the gathering can do for you; ask what you can do for the gathering.

We are our brothers and sisters keepers.